Have you ever noticed when some women turn forty their way of thinking, speaking and behaving changes? It’s almost as if there is an automatic switch that turns on and all of a sudden what was once possible becomes impossible.
Why is that? Well, a lot of women have been passed down a narrative which says after forty they should fade into the background and grow old. In other words, they’ve had their time. Leave life and living for the younger folks. That sentiment can be heard in phrases like, “you’re too old for that.” or “aren’t you too old to be…. (fill in the blanks)?”
Of course, it’s all nonsense. To all my ladies over forty, stop trying to convince yourself that you’re not worthy of the life you deserve. You are worth it. You deserve it. Go get it, whatever it may be for you.
Here are six things that some women tell themselves after they turn forty:
I’m too old for that
I’m too old to wear shorts. I’m too old to get my motorcycle license. I’m too old to learn to ride a bicycle. I’m too old to wear ripped jeans. I’m too old to leave my job and start over doing something I love. I’m too old to be on Snapchat or Instagram. I’m too old to have a child – if you want one you can do so naturally, via surrogate or adopt. I’m too old to date a younger guy. Not. Men do it all the time, and there are tons of younger men who love older women. I know a few. So stop being a Debbie Downer! You are never too old to do anything. Age brings wisdom, hopefully. Take your wisdom and work it. What you want in life awaits. Go get it.
Who would love me at this age?
You’d be surprised. Or maybe not. Maybe you’re just scared of actually finding love. Any number of people would love you regardless of your age. Be open. There is no expiration date on love, lady. If you want it, let yourself have it. You’ll find it out there.
I had my fun when I was younger
So basically what you’re saying is that fun is only for young folks and as you age, the fun stops. I know you don’t really believe that. You heard it somewhere and decided to make it your reality. Pause. You may live to be 100. What are you gonna do for the next sixty years? Mope? I think not. Put some fun and joy back into your life, stat. Remember, age ain’t nothing but a number, and like the beautiful Katherine Hepburn once said, “if you obey all the rules, you’ll miss all the fun.”
Who is going to hire me at this age?
Someone who needs a smart, articulate, courageous, brilliant and worthy woman like yourself on their team. Like I said earlier, age brings wisdom, no lie, and holding on to all that wisdom because of a false narrative you’ve been feeding yourself is rather selfish. Think of the many minds you can mentor and teach a thing or two. Your brilliance is needed in the world. Bring it on!
I don’t need to know about the finances
Yes, you do. Be in the know when it comes to you and your partner’s finances. Knowing where and how your money is being spent is prudent even if you think you’re horrible at managing money. And guess what? The more you’re in the know and involved the more you’ll learn.
I’m too old to change
Says who? Change is a choice, and if there’s something you don’t like about yourself and that something is not serving you, make the choice to change. Seek support if necessary. We are learning and growing from the day we’re born until the day we die.
Dixie Lincoln- Nichols is a biological science educator, certified health coach and entrepreneur. Her work has been featured in media outlets like, Oprah Mag, SELF, Yahoo, Redbook, Natural Health, Instyle, Working Woman, Huffington Post, Essence Online, Tampa Tribune and more. She is currently the Chief Self-care Connoisseur and founder of I. O. Beauty Market, where she curates products that are free of toxic, harmful ingredients.