We all have them; busy BS excuses. Now BS can stand for belief systems or it can stand for bulls**t. I choose to think of mine mostly as bulls**t. You’ll have to decide which term you prefer. I do understand, however, that it is a belief system that we’ve created. Either way, women always seem to have some story around why they’re too busy to take great care of themselves.
Self-care is not selfish, it’s not sleazy and it’s certainly not self-absorbed. It’s sacred and divine and we owe it to ourselves to satisfy our needs in the same sensitive way we satisfy the needs of those we love and care about. It’s insane to think that you don’t need what you give to everyone else.
What you’re giving to everyone else you care about are fulfillment and satisfaction. So what about you? Don’t you need fulfillment and satisfaction too? The desire to be cared for is an important human requirement. So it’s high time we get rid of the martyr mindset and stop allowing the BS around busy to ruin your self-care.
Here are 5 BS excuses women have for not taking care of themselves:
I feel so guilty
“There is no way I can do that for myself. What will my family think? What will people think? They will think I’m too selfish and that I think it’s all about me.” So many women suffer from what I call “guilt syndrome,” and that’s mainly because they’ve been passed down a legacy of doing for everyone else and not for themselves. So when it comes to serving self, they associate it with being selfish. Doing for yourself before others is being selfless, and being selfless allows you to serve others with greatness.
It’s too expensive
We’ve all been there, where we want to do something good for ourselves but allow finances to get in the way. How many times have you had a problem or an issue that you know you needed help with, but because of finances you said, “I can’t do it.” Then later, you end up coming full circle, right back to that problem, and having to deal with is not being solved. Had you made the choice to invest in yourself – whether it was hiring a therapist, a cook, assistant, health coach, personal trainer or a food service company – you would have dealt with the problem so much faster and without significant stress.
I have so much work to do
I hear this all the time. It was something that I use to say, a lot. “I can’t do this or I can do that because I have so much work to do.” But guess what? All that work that you have to do will never really get done to the best of your ability if you are constantly working. You have to first care for yourself before you can care for your work. How you treat yourself will be reflected in everything you do, including how you treat others. For example, the boss who flings obscene “F yous” because her secretary did not write the report the way she wanted, is reflecting how she feels about herself…. F’ed-up.
I have to take care of the children
Yes, as a mother I know that the children have to be taken care of, their needs are important. But their needs should never be more important than yours. How can you care for your children if you are left undone? You can’t serve them from an empty shell. Besides, what example are you setting and what lessons are you teaching your children? That’s it’s ok to pour into everyone else but themselves? Think of how you feel when you do leave yourself for last or undone. Is that the feeling you want your children to adopt? I’m sure the answer is now. So stop making your children an excuse. You can do this beautiful.
I’ll start next Monday
Well, well, well. If I had a penny for every time I heard this one, I’d be rich. I know the feeling, however. I did it too. My mother does it. I have friends who do it, and I know some of you also do it. We know it’s not serving us to put off what we can do this week to start next week because it’s a fresh week. Eventually, one Monday turns into 52 Mondays and then we’re making a New Year’s resolution to start the first Monday of the next year. Cut the BS. Start NOW. Today. The next minute, right after you’re finished reading this post. Putting off for tomorrow what you know you should be doing today only makes it more difficult for you to attain your goal, whether it’s losing weight, fixing your finances, creating morning rituals, pursuing your passion, etc.
Check your self-care before you wreck yourself lovelies. Any of these sound familiar to you? Do share you comments in the comments below.
Dixie Lincoln- Nichols is a biological science educator, health and wellbeing consultant and Qigong instructor. Her work has been featured in media outlets like, Oprah Mag, SELF, Yahoo and more. She is the founder of Inside Outer Beauty Market, a multi-cultutal retailer curating and creating products to support the body inside and out. Visit the site at www.iobeautymarket.com